Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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