So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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