I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
