all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
