Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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