Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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