i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
