theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize