I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
im drinking this country out of the recession.
and she was petting her beer can
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
