I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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