I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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