I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
