Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
