She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
