I'm gonna have a badass scar
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
