The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
