hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize