dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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