i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
