Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
