Buhtt sex?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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