So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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