her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
