the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
