I am in a vortex of obligation.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Come on in and take your pants off
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