also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
