They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
