I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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