I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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