You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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