"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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