I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
