I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
