Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
i need to put some appletini on your dick
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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