ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize