Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
