Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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