Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
