i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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