Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize