I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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