Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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