names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize