Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
