dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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