I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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