OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
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