Someone shit on the floor
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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