Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
