I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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