I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
where are you?
Hypothermia
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
