I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
