My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize