haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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