Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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