Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize